Monday, October 5, 2009

Like Oil & Water

I rant a LOT about rush hour in the DC area because it is so stinkin' crazy, and slow. But the good thing about it is: everyone knows where they are going. Yep, they know where they are going, how to get there, etc. Even the after-work shoppers, the ones just stopping to get one or two things on the way home, have a sense of urgency - get me in and get me out.

Then you have your daytime drivers. You know, the ones that get up a 10 am and think about running errands, but they are in no particular hurry, and oh, this is a major point: they always have the right of way. And when they get to a check-out, you hear: Hey, Susie, how's those grand babies of yours? Oh, may I see your new pics?

Situation: A rush-hour commuter, after-work get-me-in-and-out shopper, takes a few days off of work. This person innocently ventures out into public with two definite destinations in mind, one of those conveniently on the way back from the other one.

BIG MISTAKE! *I* know where I am headed, but those other people are CLUE-LESS. OMG, I was almost in 6 accidents in 2 hours. Let's review the stupidity du jour.

Clueless man, incidents 1-3: Main drag, 3 lanes in each direction. Left lane. Driving 10 mph under the speed limit. Won't move over. Get to a light with a left turn lane - two lanes. Cannot decide which one he wants, finally ends up in the left of the two lanes, in front of me. Of course. Light turns green, he moves, turns into the left lane (good) then STOPS. STOPS! I slammed on my brakes, and luckily no one was in the right lane (or behind me), so I moved over and went past him.

Same guy, decided he really wanted to be in the right lane after all, and since I'd stopped to let someone turn, he was now next to me. Cut me off, I slammed on my brakes again (stuff in the back of my car is flying all over the place), he WAVED AT ME TO THANK ME (jerk), then drove at, you guessed it, 10 mph under the 30 mph speed limit. Now we were on a 2-lane road with no chance of passing, so I stewed. At least he was moving.

Same guy a few blocks later. Pot hole. The car in front of him slowed down, he slowed down (so I did, too), then I almost slammed into him because he came TO A COMPLETE STOP. My tires actually screeched and probably took off some rubber. He just kept going like it was his road to do what he wanted. IDIOT! At my first opportunity, I got out of there, and FAST.

Incidents 4-5: I finally arrived at my second destination, rearranged the stuff in the back of my car that was now piled up against the back of my seat, got in to the store and got everything I needed. Got my car loaded up and started to back out of my spot. NO ONE in sight. As I continued in reverse, a car, doing about 40 mph IN A PARKING GARAGE, almost nailed me; she honked at me, then screeched to a stop past me. Since she'd stopped, I continued to back up. Then SHE THREW IT INTO REVERSE! AT 40 MPH! What an IDIOT! Again, I was in her way. She screeched to another stop, and turned on her directional - she wanted my spot! I should have pulled back in and let her steam for a while, but I had better things to do. I finally got out of my spot, then realized she was on the wrong side of the aisle, which caused ME to have to drive on the wrong side of the aisle. Sigh. I got out of there, almost.

Incident 6 (and last): Pulling out of the garage there is a merge between the ground-level section and people coming down from the upper levels. Two lanes form. Normal people coming from the upper-levels stay in the left lane, and the lower-level people stay in the right lane. Note I said NORMAL people. So imagine my joy when I pulled out, staying in the right lane, and this DINGBAT flew down the ramp and ANGLED HER CAR ACROSS BOTH LANES, cutting me off. LADY, two lanes, both turn right onto a 2-lane road, and THERE IS A CAR THERE! Once again, I slammed on my brakes. I am not even sure she saw me.

Now it is noon, I am home, and I need a drink. Good lord, but these people scare me!

I think I'll go organize something to take my mind off the stupidity on the roads.


Katy said...

My fantasy is to have a ratty old HEAVY '56 buick outfitted with reinforced bumpers and a giant cowcatcher on the front so I could RAM the crap out of these sorts of people. Wouldn't that feel wonderful!?! :) Off to take my prozac....

Anonymous said...

my technique to avoid such idiots is to simply become one myself. I tend to drive a bit over the speed limit and pay no attention to everyone else.
Hey it's my road........
...I'll drive as I please.

yes it's me .....