My Thoughts On Football

Let me begin my defense for what I assume will be a deluge of hate mail, but I hate football. Well, that's not true. I hate (intensely dislike) football fans. No, that's not it, either. Okay, I have a low tolerance for people who are such rabid fans that their team can do no wrong. Yeah, that's closer.

I grew up in Ohio, but I did not attend Ohio State. I will cheer for my own college (Miami Univ), but I have no interest whatsoever in who or what or when OSU plays. When I moved to Michigan, I learned everyone was assumed to be declared for either UMich or Mich State, no matter where you actually attended college. My co-workers could not understand how *I*, a gal from Ohio, cared not for OSU. It was just not in their chemical make-up to comprehend such things.

I was the product of non-rabid fans. My Mom was from Brooklyn, and she told us a true fan stood by their team through thick or thin, win or lose. They LOVED their Dodgers, and went to the games because they were fans, not because the team was on a winning streak. She told us people lined the streets and cried when the Dodgers left town.

Nowadays, no player stays with a team for very long if they can get more money somewhere else. It is a business and I think that is what has soured me to all sports. It's more about money and winning (and drugs) than it is about playing the game.

Okay - The Washington Redskins. I am in "Redskins Rule and Cowboys $uck" territory, and it makes me crazy! One season after a loss to who-remembers-what-team, all the guys could talk about was how they would have won "if only so-and-so had not been injured" or "if that call had gone in our favor". HELLO! You LOST! Accept it and move on, okay?!

Last Friday all I heard was how Sunday was going to be a cake walk - they were playing the joke-of-a-team not-even-worth-our-time Detroit Lions. I looked it up and the Lions had not won a game in like 2 seasons. Okay, fine. But where was the sportsman-like conduct? They know not of these terms.

Imagine my GLEE yesterday when I heard Detroit had won the game! OMG, I could not WAIT to get to work and hear what people had to say. Today, all day, it was vewy, vewy qwiet ... {tee hee}

Then, as I was leaving the office, I saw the Washington Post out on a table, and glanced at the headlines:

"Washington Bails Out Detroit". Okay, guys, YOU WERE TROUNCED! But I am not surprised this was spun into a positive tone. Not one bit surprised. I am sure all week I will be listening to how "if we had only ..." excuses. Yeah, guys, write 'em down and play the game next week, okay? Do you think maybe you were just a wee bit complacent and assuming in this cake walk gig? Well, do ya?!

I am done, now. Thank you for reading.

Why?

My day, and why I need a massage every 2 weeks. I actually need it weekly, but I like to eat, so I sacrifice. Here are today's burning "Why" questions:

1. Why do you think it is okay to turn right from the left lane? Do you not see there are cars in the right lane? Do you not see the sign over your lane that indicates you may go straight or turn left ONLY? Why do you think you have the right-of-way over the cars in the right lane, or the oncoming cars turning left? Are you TOO GOOD to get in line like the rest of us and wait for the light? Where are you going that is so important that you are special?

2. Why do you think it is okay to exit left from the right lane? Do you not see there are cars in the left lane? Why is lack of planning on your part suddenly imposed on several others who have to stop to prevent them from slamming into you, thus backing up traffic even more? Are you TOO GOOD to think about the fact that there is an exit coming up and maybe you should be in the proper lane to start with?

3. Why do you wait until your merge/transition lane is gone and you are driving on the shoulder to begin your merge? Why do you feel a God-given right to stick your car into moving traffic without the benefit of a turn signal to indicate your intent? Why do you feel the need to flip the finger at everyone who failed to stop traffic to let you in? What part of this is not YOUR doing?

4. Why do you feel it is okay to cross a double solid white line (which indicates the exit has already been defined, and you are past it) and create a second lane in the one-lane exit, bypassing all the cars already legally in that lane, then push your way into the waiting cars so you can exit? Do you really need to get to work that much faster than the rest of us?

(Caution: change in topic.)

5. Why is your music on so loud that it is blaring from your ear phones to the point where you could not hear me say "excuse me" after YOU stopped dead in your tracks, totally unaware that anyone else was in the world, causing me to bump into you? Then, after you grudgingly acknowledged my existence, why did you give me the evil eye as if this was somehow MY fault?

6. Why was I so upset/confused/dismayed after listening to that NPR piece on teens so addicted to texting they felt they could not possibly be expected to drive without texting? Why do these kids feel it is okay? Even after one of them was in two serious accidents because she was texting while driving? What part of distracted driving (and to an inexperienced driver, at that) is not clear here? *I* cannot even get my cell phone out of my purse while driving without losing focus, and I have been driving 3 times longer than these kids are old! Why do they feel this would be such an imposition on their lives? What do they freaking have to say that cannot wait until they get to where you are going?!?! Is a life in danger? Then SHUT UP AND DRIVE.

7. Why, when I went to the Post Office the other day, were three out of four people on their cell phones while waiting in line? What do you have to say that cannot wait until you leave the Post Office? Do you honestly think I want to listen to your conversation about your doctor's appointment, or what you need to do when you get home, or why you think that guy likes you? Put a sock in it!

7.5. Why (while we are on the subject of the Post Office) do you think you can walk in to the PO with a shopping bag and start packaging up your item to be mailed? Did you not think of the shipping part of this when you bought the item? Are you aware that other places sell boxes and tape? Do you know how much smoother things go when your item is ready to ship before you get into line? Do you think it is the responsibility of the Postal Service worker at the window to help you tape up your package? Why can some of us manage to do this at home? And DO NOT ask me to let you in front of me in line because you have already been here so long. YOU ARE NOT IN LINE YET, so move to the end, bucko.

8. WHY did I not see those awesome Hostess cupcakes in the vending machine at work until I was leaving? I just KNOW they could have helped me fell better about all of this.

A Three-Fer Day

When I see stupidity, I start composing in my head so I can spew it all out of my system when I get home, but I usually calm down by that time (long commutes are good for something!). Alas, today was not one of those days, as all three of these 'incidents' occurred within a few miles of home.

So today I bring you a three-fer, wherein I'll spew three different rants at you. Come on in - the water's fine!

Rant #1: I was at the grocery store this evening to pick up a prescription, and as I waited in line, I noticed a sign on the counter that asked people to please end their phone conversations before they approached the counter. Basically, hang up the dang phone once it's your turn! I congratulated the Pharmacist about the sign, but he said they've actually had to take it down in the past because people complained about it.

Huh? People complained that they could not be rude and talk on the phone while someone was trying to help them with life-saving medication? What's wrong with this picture?!?!

Rant #2: I was stopped at a light and I heard a really, really, really loud radio. So loud my car was vibrating! I turned to see who was driving the car next to me (as I closed my window to drown out even a little of the brain-jarring noise), and to my surprise it was a guy on a motorcycle! I kid you not!

Okay, I drive a Miata. A Miata has a rag-top, meaning there is zero insulation between me and the great outdoors. This also means road noise is ever-present. I have a radio. I keep the radio volume so I can hear it with the windows closed, which is pretty dang low. I'll turn it up to hear the traffic report, but then I'll turn it down again...I just want something in the background.

If I open the windows, though, all bets are off. I'd have to crank that thing up to crazy-loud to hear it over the noise of open windows. I generally just listen to the wind when I drive, and I catch the news or traffic when I stop at a light (or on the "expressway"). And if the top is down, I forget about the radio all together...it would blow out normal speakers to be that loud, and anyway, part of the joy of having a rag-top is being open to the sun and breeze and enjoying nature. At least that's what *I* think, for what it's worth.

So imagine this: a motorcycle, and not a small one, with the associated engine roar; a helmeted driver; and a radio loud enough to be heard over the engine noise and through the helmet. Now imagine the volume of the same radio while stopped at a light. Yeah, it was LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rant #3: There is one family in my neighborhood of condos/townhouses that feels it is their God-given right to stop their car in the middle of the street and just leave it there. I cannot figure out why, either. It's been there in the past, with all the doors open, and they've been out walking around. It's not as if there's no place to park - they just choose not to.

But tonight they appeared to be actually waiting for someone to come out. They sat there. They honked. They continued to sit there. They honked again.

Now we'll take a little trip in the way-back machine to when I was in High School. Dating Rule Number 1 in our house was this: If he does not respect you enough to come to the door to get you, then you are not going out with him. Simple. Straight to the point. And never, in all my years, did anyone I dated ever honk for me to come out. Never. I dated good guys. ;-)

Back to the present. What kind of message are these people sending to their kids that it is okay to sit in the parking lot and honk to pick up someone. Sometimes there are kids in the car, and sometimes they are picking up kids, but either way, where is the respect for anyone? I think this is just one part of what *I* think is wrong with some people today - they cannot be bothered, so it has become acceptable, and I think that is so sad.

Hey - thanks for reading this far! See, they were tiny little rants, and I am done! Typing all this out can be very cathartic. ;-)

The "Me First" Principle Of Merging

The following text was copied from here: http://www.dmv.org/how-to-guides/merging-into-traffic.php. I chose to include the text so I can RANT and emphasize particular passages.

At first, I was not sure the driving laws hadn't changed over the years, but this text re-assures me that they have not. Drivers are just stupid. And aggressive. I have emphasized certain passages in blue to drive home the point that these laws have not changed. Grrrr....

Please see further commentary below the quoted text.


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Merging is a relatively straightforward driving skill to learn, but that does not change the fact that the act instills fear in some motorists. This can be chalked up to the high speeds generally involved, and the fact that the task needs to be accomplished quickly, with little room for error. But after a few rounds of practice, your behind-the-wheel confidence will be enhanced and the technique of merging will become somewhat natural.

Still, the procedure requires extreme awareness because the last thing you want to do is have the driver in the vehicle that you are merging in front of end up in your passenger seat. Nor do you want to go into a panic and wander off from the acceleration pedal and land onto the shoulder. Here are some tips to help you become a major league merger.

The Art of Entering Gaps

Merging is designed to permit vehicles to enter and exit a highway without causing disruption in the flow of traffic. Highways are equipped with on-ramps and off-ramps, which generally connect to acceleration and deceleration lanes.

The idea behind this is when you pull onto the entrance ramp, you slowly begin building velocity. At the point where you can make eye contact with the highway, you need to immediately start assessing the gaps and the speed of existing traffic. From here, you should turn on your signal to reflect your intent to other drivers to merge onto the roadway.

Then use the acceleration lane to match the speed flow, and ease your vehicle into an appropriate gap before the acceleration lane ends. Some highways give you slabs of asphalt that are long enough for a jet to take off; others, especially on the East Coast, are so short you will need to make quick decisions or yield.

A successful merge entails you entering the highway almost at or at the speed limit, while causing no disturbance in the speeds of the vehicles behind you.

Tips for Keeping the Flow

Where the entrance ramp ends and the acceleration lane begins, note the continuation of the solid white (or yellow line). Do not cross this line and head out onto the highway. It serves as the transition from the on-ramp to the lane, and crossing it can cause other drivers to miscalculate your speed and possibly collide with your vehicle. This line serves as a good indicator to begin your acceleration and gap-finding quest.

While your driver-side mirror is essential to observing traffic behind you prior to merging, you will also want to actually turn your head and check your blind spot before easing onto the road.

You should always decide on the space you will shoot for before accelerating rather than getting to full speed and then deciding. Why? Well, you only have so many yards in the lane, and if you are at full speed before you know where you are headed, you might run out of room prior to finding a traffic gap. This will cause you to have to stop, cut another driver off, or wind up on the shoulder―definitely not good merging techniques.

If you are not familiar with the on-ramp or highway section you are entering, use extra caution because you may run into all sorts of interesting obstacles including: "no merge lane" signs, which mean you will need to yield, which may require you stop before moving into traffic; and signal lights that stagger vehicles up the entrance ramp, usually during times of high traffic.

During rush hour, when the entire traffic system slogs along at a turtle's gait, the fine art of merging takes on new importance to keep the surge moving. Many times you will be driving along the highway at a good clip, and the next thing you know you are in a mass of bumper-to-bumper madness.

It lasts for a few minutes, opens up, and then clogs again at the next exit. Sometimes this is simply due to the sheer number of vehicles trying to enter or leave the road on a single stretch of asphalt utilized both as a deceleration and acceleration lane. But, you can also bet there is some improper merging going on, causing the entire system to break down into the proverbial bottleneck.

To keep a good pace in heavy traffic, merging should work like the teeth on a zipper. One vehicle merges; a vehicle already on the highway passes; another vehicle merges; a vehicle already on the highway passes, and so on. Of course, in this day and age of aggressive driving, it may not always work out this way.

The Exiting Factor

When you choose to exit the highway, you may not technically be merging (or being absorbed into traffic); rather, you are leaving the collective, but it still requires a few words.

In cases where there is only a deceleration lane and an exit ramp, you simply need to signal your intentions to other drivers and pull over. You will use the lane to slow your vehicle and continue on to other roads.

However, when the acceleration lane and the deceleration share the same portion of road surface, it can be tricky. Basically, if the vehicle entering the highway is at top acceleration, you will want to pull into the deceleration lane behind it. If you are moving at a greater clip than the vehicle just entering the acceleration lane then you will want to exit in front of the vehicle. Again, theoretically, this will keep the flow of traffic moving smoothly.
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Unfortunately, a whole lot of people in this area are of the "aggressive driver" type. I had a full dose of it this morning, too. A very long line of cars had built up in the right lane, and we had two lights to get through before the on-ramp to the highway. This is normal.

What is totally irritating, though, and actually serves to worsen the situation, are the people who are "too good" to get in line, so they speed up in the next lane and charge to the front, then force-merge into stopped traffic to get into the right lane. If you are stopped, and (like me) are not kissing the bumper of the car in front of you, then there is space enough for someone in the next lane to wedge their car in front of you in such a way that you cannot move without letting him in. This totally pisses me off. It also stops traffic in two lanes, not just one. The really great feat, though, is the car that waits until the solid white line of the on-ramp, just inches before the jersey wall barrier, to begin the force-merge. Now THAT is exciting, let me tell you!

Who taught these people to drive?!?!?!?! What part of "aggressive" driving is not apparent? Where is a cop when you need him/her? C'mon, people!!!!!!!

I swear, I want a car cam. I'll record all this stupidity, and, having captured the license plates of the cars involved, I'll turn them in. Not sure that will help, but it might make ME feel better. Maybe. Unfortunately, the people who should be reading this will not. :-(

And my every-two-week massages? Out-of-pocket, to boot? Is it a wonder that I need them? I am actually amazed I am still alive to rant! Sigh ... Thanks for listening. I feel a little better for having unloaded. And I get to experience it all again tomorrow. Oh, joy.

My Kind Of Commercial

You know how I usually rant about driving issues (mostly other drivers' stupidity)? Well, apparently I am not alone! Here is a snippet from an HD Radio commercial I heard today:

" ... Make sure to have an HD Radio pre-installed in your new car. That way, when you fail to use your turn signal, you'll have something to listen to while you wait for the ambulance to pull you from the smoldering wreckage. ..."

Perfection. ;-)

Why?

Sign above the drinking fountain.

The drinking fountain.


I find it sad that (1) adults need to be told these things, (2) the plea was ignored, and (3) this was not an isolated incident.

See? It's Not Just Me...

I came home this evening to a phone message from Beloved Reader #2, and she gave me permission to share it here. Seems she got rear-ended (just a tap), they both got out of their vehicles to check for damage, and here is the ensuing conversation:

Other Woman: Why did you stop?
BR#2: It was a red light.
OW: But it's right turn on red.
BR#2: Only after a stop.
OW: But there was no one coming.
BR#2: But I didn't know that until after I'd stopped.
OW: {pregnant silence}
BR#2: Look, my car is fine, and we're blocking traffic here, so if you want my insurance information, let me know, cuz I gotta go.
OW: Yeah, me too.

Not a dramatic end to that conversation, but "Why did you stop?"?!?!? That means if she had been the front vehicle, she would have rolled right through the red light and thought nothing of it. See - I cannot make up this stuff ... it is everywhere! Just multiply this by 100,000 drivers on the DC-area roads at rush hour, and you'll understand the seriousness of the situation. BR#2 was thankful she does not have to commute in this stuff every day. Me? I just get a massage every 10 days or so, and I live through it.