Those Darned Roundabouts

My Rant Du Jour again addresses the wonderful experience of driving in the DC area. My going-in position is that no one here knows how to drive, and it is getting worse.

It all started with Pierre L'Enfant in 1791. Check out the details here, but let's focus on the hubs of his street design. These hubs are what we lovingly know as traffic circles, or more accurately: roundabouts. These roundabouts will be our death.

No, I do not like driving in DC proper, and avoid it at all costs, but some smart-guy (and I just know it was a guy) decided that suburbia could benefit from a few roundabouts, so in the past few years they have sprung up all over the place. Now mind you, we are talking about inserting a roundabout at a spot where people were previously playing bumper-cars with each other at four-way stops, and I use the term "stops" loosely. Now we are playing bumper-cars in circles instead of squares.

So I thought I'd take this opportunity to explain a bit about how one is supposed to drive in a roundabout.

Here is a link to a good example of how traffic should flow in a roundabout: How to drive in a right-hand roundabout. It looks pretty simple, doesn't it? Here's the How To in words, taken from this site:

Step 1: Slow down as you approach the intersection. You're typically not required to stop.

Step 2: Wait for a gap and merge with the moving traffic into the outside lane.

Step 3: Yield to vehicles already in the circle.

Step 4: Turn left or right from the circle by following the inside lane around and then moving to the outside lane, following it to your exit.

Step 5: Continue driving straight ahead by approaching the circle on the outside lane and staying out of the circling lane.

Step 6: Watch for pedestrians and bicycles.

Step 7: Keep in mind that buses or large trucks need extra room to make turns and might take up more than one lane in a traffic circle.

Step 8: Obey all traffic signs and road markings.

Step 9: Signal your intent to other drivers when entering, going around and exiting the circle.

Okay, let me repeat that this is how it is supposed to be done. I see several problems with this, based on my 25+ years' of driving experience in this area. Let's go over those steps again:

Step 1: Slow down as you approach the intersection. You're typically not required to stop. Slow down ... HAHAHAHAHA! No one here slows down for anything.

Step 2: Wait for a gap and merge with the moving traffic into the outside lane. Wait for a gap ... HAHAHAHA! Everyone here has the right of way and no one waits for anyone.

Step 3: Yield to vehicles already in the circle. Yield ... HAHAHAHA! See Step 2.

Step 4: Turn left or right from the circle by following the inside lane around and then moving to the outside lane, following it to your exit. HAHAHAHA! This only works if the person making the tricky maneuver actually looks to see if there is someone in the outside lane before moving into it.

Step 5: Continue driving straight ahead by approaching the circle on the outside lane and staying out of the circling lane. See Step 4.

Step 6: Watch for pedestrians and bicycles. Ditto.

Step 7: Keep in mind that buses or large trucks need extra room to make turns and might take up more than one lane in a traffic circle. No comment.

Step 8: Obey all traffic signs and road markings. Obey traffic signs ... HAHAHA! Oh, sorry, were there signs? Really? Only 3? Well how do you expect me to see only 3?

Step 9: Signal your intent to other drivers when entering, going around and exiting the circle. Signals are optional equipment in these parts. See Law #1 in my post from last year about the DC-area Driving Laws.

So I see why these roundabouts are treacherous, but that guy who decided they'd be a good idea here in the 'burbs obviously takes the Metro to work and does not have to drive through any of them. Every day I thank my lucky stars I make it home from work in one piece (minus a few nerves).

And let us be thankful that we do not live anywhere near one of these.

Taking Responsibility, Revisted

I think I need to stop reading this stuff. How many more times are we going to be asked to help bail out someone who failed to be responsible for themselves?!

Read on (the bold part is my doing):
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Schwarzenegger Seeks Federal Disaster Declaration
November 19, 2008

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is asking the Bush administration to declare Southern California a federal disaster site after fires tore through wide swaths of the region.

According to a letter the governor sent to the Federal Emergency Management Agency, the state needs help cleaning up after wildfires destroyed more than 800 homes and burned more than 40,000 acres over the weekend.

Schwarzenegger says California needs help cleaning up debris and protecting burned properties from potential flooding.

The governor also requested disaster loans for the counties of Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside, Santa Barbara and San Bernardino. He says many of the residents affected by the fires -- particularly mobile home owners -- lacked insurance or are seriously underinsured.
-------------------------------------------------------

I'm sorry. I do feel for the displaced people, but if you do not bother to figure out a way to insure your own property, and to the correct amount of its worth, why is this my problem? Can I drop my homeowners insurance and get rebuilt because I am uninsured? Can I fail to adjust my coverage up when the value of my home increases and get someone else to pay the difference? Puleeze! I am sick to death of being expected to bail out people who do not help themselves.

Well, Duh

I read this late last week and I could not believe what I was reading. I have since found other versions of the same article in the WSJ and other (usually) reputable sources, so I feel safe in sharing the article I read. Read on, and judge for yourself. [Note: The bold statements below are my doing.]

A.I.G. to Suspend Millions in Executive Payouts
By JONATHAN D. GLATER
Published: October 22, 2008

The beleaguered insurer American International Group has agreed to suspend payments to executives from a $600 million bonus fund as well as $19 million in payments to its former chief executive, the New York attorney general announced on Wednesday.

The moves are the latest steps in an effort by the attorney general, Andrew M. Cuomo, to prevent bonuses and other compensation to former executives at A.I.G., which in recent weeks has received tens of billions of dollars in loans from the Federal Reserve.

“There should not even be any contemplation of bonuses for executive performance because I find it hard to conceive of a situation that you could justify a performance bonus for management that virtually bankrupted the company,” Mr. Cuomo said on a conference call with reporters on Wednesday afternoon.

Regulators and lawmakers have pointed to A.I.G. as an example of excessive greed in corporate America. Although the Treasury Department is imposing limits on compensation to the most highly paid executives at companies that receive government aid, the limits do not address compensation paid in the past or under pre-existing employment contracts.

In A.I.G.’s case, according to Mr. Cuomo’s office, it is unlikely that the limits in the bailout legislation would apply because the company has received money in the form of loans from the Fed, not from transactions with the Treasury Department.

According to a letter Mr. Cuomo sent to A.I.G.’s current chief executive, Edward M. Liddy, the company has agreed to freeze $19 million in remaining payments to Martin J. Sullivan, the company’s former chief executive who was ousted in June. Mr. Cuomo said he did not know how much Mr. Sullivan might have already been paid under his employment contract.

The company also agreed not to make any payments from a $600 million deferred compensation and bonus fund for executives of A.I.G.’s financial products unit, which undertook many of the complex financial transactions that pushed the company to the brink of collapse. Mr. Cuomo said that Joseph Cassano, who headed that unit, stood to receive $70 million from the fund.

“We have received the letter, and the letter is consistent with our discussions with the attorney general and with actions we have taken,” said Joe Norton, a spokesman for A.I.G.

Mr. Cuomo has already called on A.I.G. to help recover payments made to former executives at the company. During the call with reporters, Mr. Cuomo suggested that his actions offered a template for dealing with executive compensation at companies now receiving taxpayer money through the bailout approved by Congress this month.

“Once a company accepts tax dollars, there are different rules,” Mr. Cuomo said. “These are taxpayers who did not voluntarily make an investment in these companies. In many ways it was a forced investment.”

The suspension of payments appears to be the product of negotiation between Mr. Cuomo’s office and A.I.G., but last week the attorney general raised the prospect of using New York law to recover past payments to executives whether the company cooperated or not.

A.I.G.’s spending drew national attention this month after two former executives testified before Congress about pay practices and outsize spending that continued even after the company received an $85 billion bridge loan from the Federal Reserve.

One particular point of contention was a weeklong retreat that a subsidiary, AIG General, held for sales agents. The $442,000 in expenses included $150,000 for food and $23,000 in spa charges. A.I.G., which received an additional $37.8 billion loan from the Fed, later canceled 160 conferences and other events that would have cost more than $8 million.

[PS: I think I like Mr. Cuomo.]

Too Pooped To Rant, Maybe

I tend to compose blogs in my head while I drive. I think that tendency comes from a habit my college roommate had of speaking in newspaper article titles; for example: "College coed found dead; leaped from the roof after failing mid-term exam." or some such silliness. I spend a lot of time in the car, so I have a lot of time to mentally compose. I also have a lot of material, considering all the stupidity I witness in 15 short miles each way every day.

But tonight, even though I had the whole thing composed, I realize that as I sat down to type I simply do not have the energy to rant any more. I think they wore me out! Being surrounded by stupidity can be very tiring, obviously. Okay, okay, let me give it a try anyway!

They say you should not whine about something unless you also have a solution to suggest to correct the problem. Well, I do!!! Have a suggestion, that is. First, The Problem: Stupid drivers who do not care about the traffic laws which are there NOT to make our lives miserable, but to give some sense of order to the very dangerous task of maneuvering heavy machinery (2000+ pounds of metal on wheels counts as heavy machinery, in my book) with other people doing the same thing. There just HAVE to be rules or there would be anarchy. Apparently we have anarchy even with the rules, but I digress.

So my peeve du jour, and pretty much every jour, is that people do not follow the basic Driving 101 laws, and they think this is okay. And policemen apparently have way too much other stuff to do, so they cannot be bothered with policing the bumper-cars that is my daily commute. I swear, it's a miracle I get to and from work every day without being smashed to smithereens.

My solution? Deputize me! I will stop everyone I can and ticket them for blatantly breaking the law. And I'll do it cleverly disguised as a fellow commuter in a teeny tiny Miata. I'll keep the flashing red light hidden until I need to whip it out and make someone pull over. And I'll do it FOR FREE! I'll do it for the sheer joy of making someone see the error of their ways and put the fear of God into the rest of 'em.

What should you watch for when I have been granted my precious flashing red light? These are the things for which you will be stopped:

1. Changing lanes without using a directional (turn signal, that blinky thing).
2. Tailgating.
3. Changing lanes over and over and over again so you can get one car ahead of where you started.
4. Extra penalty for doing #3 without using a turn signal.
5. Making a one-lane exit into a two-lane exit because you are too good to wait in line like everyone else.
6. Passing on the shoulder because you cannot be bothered to wait until you get to the exit to exit.
7. Crossing a solid white line to merge.
8. Crossing a solid white line to merge without using a directional.
9. Crossing a double solid white line to merge.
10. Turning or exiting right from the left lane.
11. Sliding out of your lane while turning (you know, turning left into the far right lane.)
12. Entering the intersection when you cannot clear the intersection, even if your light is green.
13. Entering the intersection when you cannot clear the intersection when your light is red.
14. Not stopping for a stop sign (you live there, so they must be optional for you.)
15. Not stopping for pedestrians in crosswalks.
16. Tossing trash out the window while driving. This includes cigarette butts, people. Maryland is not your ashtray!
17. Crossing the double solid yellow lines in the middle of the street because a trash truck is stopped and in your way, and doing this without regard to the fact that there is oncoming traffic on the other side of said yellow lines.
18. Passing a stopped school bus with its red lights flashing because, well, just because you could, I guess.
19. Charging to the end of a merge lane so you can get as far up into traffic as you can, causing said moving traffic to stop to let you in, which backs traffic up several miles more than it already was. Forget that someone in a little green Miata left about 5 car lengths (your car lengths) of room for you to merge into moving traffic, but you were going so fast you blew past that opportunity.
20. Honking at someone and gesturing with your arms to see if someone will let you into their driving lane. I guess this is the New Merge, and I hate it.
21. Slowing down to look a the policeman on the shoulder when he has stopped someone.
22. Slowing down to look at the policeman on the shoulder when he has no one stopped.
23. Slowing down to look at an accident.
24. Stopping to look at an accident. Oh, I am sorry, no ticket here. These people should be shot, instead.

I also think the following warrant tickets:
1. Pedestrians who cross against the light and expect you to stop anyway.
2. Pedestrians who cross against the light and slow down their pace when they see they are holding up traffic.
3. Pedestrians who step in front of a moving vehicle (and not in a crosswalk) and expect to get the right of way.
4. People who park in the Fire Lane or the Pick-up Lane at the grocery store because they are too lazy to park in one of the available empty spots in the parking lot.
5. People who are not handicapped and park in the handicapped spots using someone else's handicapped driver hang-tag.

And, as a deputized person, I also plan to make the most grevious offenders re-take the driving portion of their driving test to keep their license.

So how was your day?

On Taking Responsibility for One's Own Actions

Please note that this rant is based solely on my personal, uninformed opinion, and has probably no basis in fact.

One of my pet peeves is dealing with people who feel no responsibility for themselves or their own actions. It is always someone else's fault. Even axe murderers get off with a hand-slap because they came from a battered childhood. Puleeeze.

So imagine my joy when I hear all this silliness about the Government Bailout for the banking mess. Seven hundred Billion dollars of our collective taxpayer money going to what? As I see it, we would be helping:

(1) The Banks. The banks who were stupid enough to loan money to people who could not afford to make the payments. I had one Real Estate agent explain some of the creative financing to me, and I tell you, it is crazy. Let's say you want a loan for $300,000 (I am making up all these numbers), and the payment on that loan would be $3000 per month. You are given the option of paying (a) $3000/month, (b) interest-only, say $2000 per month, or (c) what you can actually afford, say $1000 per month. So let's say you pay the $1000 per month...what happens to the rest of your monthly payment that you are not paying? It gets tacked on to your loan. The one that you already cannot afford. Now the bank is on the line for a loan that actually grows each month while the homeowner gets to live in the house for next to nothing. This works as long as the value of said property continues to escalate at, or faster than, the amount that the loan is growing. In theory, the house can be sold and the loan paid off.

(2) The Home Buyers. When confronted with a $1000 budget and a $3000 monthly payment, who is stupid enough to agree to a deal like I mentioned above? Anyone with half a brain could see that they simply could not afford that house. I know what the banks will tell you, and they will tell you that you can afford way more than you might be confortable paying. You, the Home Buyer, need to have enough sense to know what you cannot afford, and how to say No.

I see greed here. I see "but I need a house" here. And then the bottom falls out of the housing market. Now the Home Buyer is living in a house they cannot afford, making less than their monthly payment, and The Bank owns a loan that is more than the house is worth, so they panic.

Am I supposed to feel sorry for any of these people? Okay, I am not totally uneducated, nor unscathed by market fluctuations. I built a house in 1980, at the peak of that housing market. I sold that house 5 years later for less than I paid for it. It happens. It was no one's fault but my own.

We had the option of an Adjustable Rate Mortgage. You pay less the first few years, then your rate goes up. I looked at the monthly payment based on the future interest rates to see if, once the rates went up, I was still able to make that larger payment. Then, and only then, would I agree to take an Adjustable Rate Mortgage.

Are all these people so dumb they did not think about the consequences of "what if"? What if the market stops growing this fast? What if the bottom falls out? What if my rate adjusts up?

I guess I just do not understand why this is the taxpayers' problem. I heard that the banks can borrow from the Fed at a low interest rate to get money back into the system and free up some capital. Okay, so why is this not an option?

Here's another one: Home Buyer forecloses - they made some bad choices, so live with it. Banks take over the bad loans. Banks sell the house for the going market rate. Bank takes in a large percentage of the outstanding loan(s). Bank takes a loss. Bank does not fold.

Why - WHY - should I help bail out these banks and home buyers so they can stay in the homes we all know they cannot afford? Could someone please explain this to me? I promise to post a retraction if I am way off base. I just need someone to tell me why these people should be allowed to stay in their homes, and the banks be bailed out, and why no one should take any responsibility for their bad decisions.

Hate Telemarketers? Me too!!

First - Yes, I am on the Do Not Call registry. In fact, I can tell you I registered at 8:18 am the first morning they opened up that Web site. About a month after it kicked in, I was able to cancel my Caller Id add-on service since my cold calls dropped from 15 per day to zero. But if they are non-profits, or if they are just doing surveys, they can still bug the crap out of you.

When I get one of these calls, the most I can usually muster is to politely tell the person calling me that whatever they are selling, or giving away, or asking me about in a survey, I am not interested. Then I politely ask them to remove me from their call list, I thank them, and hang up. I do not want that job!

The last person who came to my front door was giving away free home alarm systems. Really? Free? Yep, free. Then I said that if it were free, then there would be no monthly fee to use it, right? Er, no, it was just free installation. Aaaah, so it is NOT a free security system, just free installation. Then I am not interested. He proceeded to tell me about the recent increase in crime in my neighborhood, and I pointed out the No Solicitation sign at the entrance to the neighborhood, then I thanked him and closed the door. I figure he wrote down my address and he'll send someone back to rob me later. So far, so good, though.

But here is someone who got really clever and did something about those cold calls.



Okay, it was a mean thing to do to that poor guy, but on some level, you've gotta love it!

Notta Lotta B1tchin' Goin' On

It's been a quiet few weeks or months at most B1tchin' Blogs, mine included. Whazzup with that? Personally, I rant almost every day on the way home (stupid drivers!), but by the time I get home and see all my stampin' stuff, I start playing and then I am over it. I suppose that's a lot healthier, and maybe we are all just getting over the stupidity surrounding us in our daily lives.

However, as I was catching up my Maxine day-by-day calendar at work last week (it was waaaay behind), I saved a few pages that either made me laugh out loud because they were true, or that so perfectly summed up what I would rant about, they needed nothing added.

So without further ado, here are my rants du jour, a la Maxine:

That last one is for my Beloved Reader #2, and you know who you are! ;-) Oh, wait, am I allowed to have a smiley face on a b1tchin' blog?